Because of a fun little conversation I had with some friends and family the other day, I've been thinking a lot about nursing lately. There is a statistic going around (and I have learned that its true, or at least as true as any statistic can be proved to be). That more educated women are more likely to nurse and to nurse for a longer period of time. Now I am not exactly sure what we mean by this when we say it. Of course the insinuation is that smarter women nurse. But that's silly. And the statistic itself is very strange to me because my college experience definitely didn't directly prepare me to want to nurse, in fact quite the opposite. Many people wouldn't expect to see educated and high class women nurse for very long, if at all; Even though the statistic suggests that those are precisely the type of women that are doing it. And maybe that's why we make such a big deal about it. As nursing women, we are tired of being looked down on for no reason. And society just hasn't caught on yet that this is the enlightened, cool thing to do.
Well, that may explain why we like the statistic, and why its spread around in nursing circles like wildfire, but I still wonder how it could possibly be true. What is it about being educated that makes women nurse longer? If its not the learning or atmosphere itself? (And believe me, its not). What is it about going to school that prepares us in any way for breastfeeding. Well, I think I've figured it out. It comes down to seemingly futile endurance. Maybe everyone's experience with school isn't the same as mine, but I had more than a few moments of, "what the heck am I still doing this for?" School was hard, but nursing, for all its beauty and ease is one of the hardest things I've ever had to stick out in my whole life. Its painful, boring, frustrating, painful, you get sick of being the only one able to "fix" the crying, the baby takes way way longer to sleep through the night, and did I mention painful? And most of the time it seems oh so futile. You have to wonder why you are torturing yourself. There are great formulas out there, right? It would be nice to share that responsibility and get some rest. But somehow we pull through, maybe just because school trained us to do; stick it out.
Well, of course its not quite that simple. Wikipedia had this to say, "More highly educated women are more likely to have access to information regarding difficulties with breastfeeding, allowing them to continue breastfeeding through difficulty rather than weaning early." That's probably true too. I also heard on a news segment that support from other nursing mothers or family is also a hugely contributing factor to breastfeeding. Hey, that's how women survive everything. But I gotta say, the main reason I kept up with nursing was pure laziness. Laziness beat out over pain and frustration. Nursing is always, always available and conveniant, and especially once the pain goes away, you can sleap right through it. Don't get me wrong, I love it. Its a special mommy time with my baby, gives me peace of mind, and there are tons of physical benefits for me and the wee one. But for the first little while, Its really hard to see that, and if I wasn't so lazy, I probably wouldn't have done it. And I really believe that in most cases, bottlefeeding has very few if any negative consequences, and lots of benefits. The most serious problems with bottle-feeding only occur in infants who have an inclination toward certain health problems in the first place. Which means that most kids are not adversely affected. There is a chance for serious problems, but its hard to ignore that there doesn't seem to be a huge difference in most kids.
So although I really hope that everyone who want to can nurse as long as is good for their kids, I cannot blame or judge those who can't, or those that quit early. I'll say it again, IT IS HARD! Its worth it, but hard. And though it gets better after the first month, that will probably not the be the end of the difficulty for you. So maybe rather than just telling one another that more educated women nurse, Lets just support one another, no matter what we decide.
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4 comments:
I'm puzzled by how hard you say nursing is. Granted, its been about 28 years since I weaned my last one, but I remember the ease of packing the baby to go someplace; all I needed was diapers - no bottles, formulas, etc.
But I sure agree that we shouldn't judge harshly a woman's decision not to nurse or inability to nurse. AND by the time its been 28 years since the child was weaned, you really can't tell whether they were nursed a long time or bottle fed. But I sure enjoyed it.
The difficulties I had were mainly for the first few weeks. Just learning how to do it and convince your baby to do it right, all the time working through the pain. Plus bottle feeders were always telling you how quickly their babies were sleeping through the night, etc. And then many babies go through a rough spot around nine months which they either get really needy or don't want to nurse at all. I have many friends (if not most of them) who either gave up at nine months, or just bottle fed from the beginning -- not for lack of desire or trying, but just because it was too hard. You probably forgot most of the difficulties, since it gets so much easier after the first few months and after the first baby. Plus, everyone is different.
I think also, each baby and situation is different. Nursing comes easier to some babies and some mothers.
I'll grant that the first few weeks have been hard for many of my babies. And there are definitely rough spots later on. But there are so many joy times related to nursing! And they definitely outweigh the hard stuff!
I find I'm much less judgmental about other women's choices in my old age. I'm always a little sad when I see them bottle feeding, but just assume that they didn't have any good support through the hard times.
I think it is easy and hard sometimes to be an educated women and easy to nurse once everyone figures it out and I am lazy! There! Now I can go nurse my baby and read a highly educational book at the same time!
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