Manderin Chinese FAQ

Chinese is so distant from English that it attracts a lot of speculation among English speakers. I speak Mandarin Chinese (though not quite fluently) and people often ask me questions about the language and culture. I'd like to clear up one particular misconception.

Can a Chinese person be tone deaf?

Absolutely: if you had ever attended a Karaoke party among Chinese speaking people, you would never ask that.

But how can a person who is tone deaf speak Chinese?

You'd be surprised how often I hear this. Most of the time it's probably meant as a joke, but deep down the asker really does wonder. Most people know that Mandarin and Cantonese are both tonal languages. Many think that each different tone represents a different note on the scale. The truth is, Chinese tones have very little to do with notes at all.

Think of the term tone more like tone-of-voice as in "don't take that tone with me young lady." There are five tones in mandarin: two clear tones; and two spoken tones and one non-tone (it varies from sentence to sentence. The first tone is a high clear tone; it is the one that sounds like a sung note. But it doesn't actually correlate to any note in particular; it is simply a held out note somewhere in the upper part of the voice. So depending on how high or low a voice is, the actual note can be very different from person to person. The second tone is the other clear tone, and it is a sort of swoop upwards. It is a bit like a person was trying to sing a note, but started out flat and so had to swoop up to find it. The third tone is voiced, and is just a little wiggle at the bottom of the voice. And then the fourth is the explosive. It goes down, very quickly, and explosively. Think of it the same as the quick abrupt way an English speaker might say “Hey!”

With each tone, there really isn’t much movement because of the speed at which it is spoken. In my opinion, Chinese actually doesn’t have any more tonal movement than English. But it sounds more musical than English because it is quick; each word changes independently and rapidly, instead of the more smooth transitions of English sentences.

"One less" case of cervical cancer?

Every time I see those commercials for Guardasil I feel like throwing something at the TV. From the very beginning of their whole campaign I just knew I was being manipulated. The first commercials didn't mention anything about a vaccine, but just about HPV, seemingly an altruistic move to simply educate women everywhere. "Cancer from a virus, I didn't know that!" The girls all gushed. Then a few months later, big surprise, the commercials start advertising a cure. Almost like, "you know that cancer causing virus you've been hearing so much about? Well we finally found a cure!" As if it hadn't been them that informed you of it in the first place. And now they are doing a huge push, if you hadn't noticed. Is it because they are concerned about our girls? Of course not, actually, the generic brand of the vaccine is about to come out, and they gotta sell sell sell before people go cheaper. I realize that pharmaceutical companies are just businesses, and they gotta make choices that appeal to the widest possible audience. The problem I have is there is just so much they leave out.

Most importantly, they never mention that HPV is a STD. Even on their site, they try to make it sound like it is more than just an STD because:
"Anyone who has any kind of sexual activity involving genital contact with an infected person can get HPV—-intercourse isn't necessary." I hate to say it, but many, if not most, STD's are like that.

I fully realize that not everyone can promote abstinence. For this reason, you might say its a great thing to have a vaccine for such a dangerous virus even if it is an STD. I'm just offended by all the partial honestly, and its hard for me to move past that. Especially when the main reason for the omitting of such crucial information seems to be they want younger customers. The vaccine is advertised for girls nine years old and up. So the conscientious mothers in the commercial say, "I want my daughter to be one less." If Guardasil was required to add that it was for an STD, I'm pretty sure they would have a few less mothers bringing in their nine year-olds for the vaccination. Mothers don't tend to think of their young daughters as sexually active at any age, let alone nine. But preteens and teenage girls probably won't be bringing themselves in either. So that makes for a much much smaller audience. Which means less money. The commercial should say "I'm gonna be one more" One more dollar (if only it were just a dollar) for the pharmaceutical industry.

On a side note, I'm afraid there may be a few doctors out there who don't do their homework when it comes to Guardasil either. Fae's doctor told her that the vaccine canceled out the need for pap smears. Um, yeah thats wrong on so many levels. Not that I'm saying don't trust your doctors on this but....Well, maybe I am.

Women don't get addicted to porn?

This is something that frustrates me alot, but its such a delicate subject, I can never think how to broach it: Pornography. Its a scary subject for some, sensitive for others, and silly for (I hate to say) the majority. I know most people in the world don't believe that viewing pornography is a bad thing. But I'm not really talking to those people here. I'm talking to those who believe porn is damaging. Many of us know that anyone can get addicted to porn, but I'm not sure we really think about women as being part of that "anyone". Today in church I heard a statistic that was a bit shocking. 14% of LDS women are addicted to pornography. These are women who do believe pornography is bad and detrimental to their eternal soul, and yet can't quit!

I think part of the problem comes because too many women think we, as women, aren't vulnerable (and therefore sometimes we put ourselves in compromising situations). And also I honestly think many women don't really know what porn is. I know that seems like I'm not giving us enough credit, but let me explain.

I don't think the same kinds of porn attract women as men. Its been said many times that men are more visual than women. Typically, when we think of porn, we think of the visual stuff: pictures and movies namely. But there is a whole other category thats basically non visual. I'm talking about romance erotica: Romance novels(you know the kind) and sometimes even romance movies. Women may not be all that stimulated by pictures, but throw a little romance in there, and some women can be just as hooked as some men. In my educated opinion, anything that leads a person to think lastingly about intimate situations, not in direct relation to your spouse, is pornography. And yes, many romances do just that. On purpose.

So the result is that women young and old, who didn't intend on subjecting themselves to anything questionable are getting addicted to pornography. And the same consequences apply as they do for any kind of porn addiction: spiritual deadening, guilt, damage to self esteem. It effects every relationship ever after, and can damage your sex life with your husband. And it can lead to much much worse.

The good news is that once you've read or seen romance pornography even once, even if you didn't know what it was before, you would know afterwards. The feelings are unmistakable. The spirit always lets you know when its been offended. Unfortunately, for some women, by then its already too late. What am I trying to do then? Keep the innocent but conscientious away from even getting that first taste. Avoid romances that may have prolonged sex scenes. Avoid (dare I say it) Harlequin romances. I know someone's going to hate me for saying that, but I speak from experience when I say most of them are pure porn. And its sometimes hard to tell which ones aren't until its too late. Avoid anything that stimulates you in a way only your husband should.

I hope in the future more and more is brought to light about this subject, so that our numbers of LDS women addicted to porn can drop even lower. It starts now.